so much to catch up on

Well good news, husband dearest has purchased for me a fancy smancy new computer, so I will be able to get back into the swing of regular blogging again - ohhhh bloggy bloggy world how I have missed you, and oh I have so much to share.

My old computer decided it was having none of this blogger login malarky some months back and would not play nicely, so I have been forced out of action for far too long. So lots of catchup posts and photos to follow over the next week.

wanna be adored

Without a doubt if my son came with a soundtrack this would be it, funniest thing for the past few weeks I have this song swimming around in my head, I wanna be adored sums him up - enough said :)

Haven't been able to blog in a while, my computer is playing up for some reason doesnt like any google sites, except ones that come with a com.au not sure how it has developed these racist tendencies to only like things Australian bizarre bizarre, so blogger has been a no go, wierd tried everything to no avail. As my dearest husband has been away on and off for past couple of months this is first chance I have been able to use his computer to add a new post. Plus the fact he is out on the town tonight with an old friend who is visiting our city on business, means I dont have to disconnect him from whatever war type computer game (geek - said with a cough) he plays on this thing this evening.

We have been having a blast of a time lately, being very active, and the sun is shining every day with fury so we have been getting out to water parks, and pools as often as possibly, one of the failings of living in military housing we dont have our own pool, unlike many many of the houses in our city.

We have had 3 post placement visits so far, our social worker is very nice, and with every visit she has seen our house grow with an ever improving array of toys and games and toddler entertaining features, such fun having a two year old in the house. We have converted my old study into a play room of sorts, but I am sure like most houses with a toddler, every room without exception is a playroom as far as our son is concerned.

Sadly not all is peaceful in the land of the Kangaroo and lengthy adoption times, I was thrown into a bit of mental chaos the past few weeks. Our state dept has just realised that they have not been finalising their adoptions in the correct manner under the new legislation that came in in 2009, so therefore for us, and the other couples that are currently on a 12 month interim order our situation has been thrown into uncertainty, and in our case further complicated by the call of the Army as we must move again early next year, to another state, that has different adoption legislation and approvals (we already did a state move from one state to this current one during our waiting time, and that reapproval took 11 months to be completed so quite a significent length of time). Now normally this move wouldnt have made any impact, as we are meant to finalise our adoption within 12 months of coming home, but alas with these issues in our current state they put a big question mark over whether we would finalise within the 12 months, and that being said the suggestion was made that we would have to do the state move next year, get reassessed in that state to be suitable adoptive parents to our son, and then go through that states finalisation processes there. Heartattack or what. I think at first i wasnt really registering it, then i was flabbergasted, as really we have ticked many boxes, and proved ourselves time and time again to be sound, respectable, secure, good, honest, decent people, and to have to be reassessed time and time again due to bureaucratic failings is trully heartstopping, plus the prospect of leaving our son in a legal limbo in this Country not of his birth is just beyond anything we could allow, the mantra of the "best interests of the child" were missing in these early rationales.

So anyhow, way things used to work (up until a couple of weeks ago) one would have 4 postplacement visits, then at the end of 12 months of being home, you would be invited to court and the magistrate would finalise the adoption under Australian state law, a new birth cert would be issues, and australian citizenship granted. Then as a seperate matter one would wait for thailand to review the postplacement reports, then they send an invite to the families directly to attend the Thai embassy in Australia and the adoption is finalised at the Thai side. Now for other families this last step appears to have been occuring in varying time frames after the 12 months, some I hear it took a couple of years to be invited to the Embassy, but again was never great pressure to do this side in a set time frame, possibly due to the fact the adoption was already finalised on the Australian side.

So under the new way of doing it they are implementing (which I must note I agree wholeheartedly with it being done properly, as that is correct under our legislation but also more importantly under the Hague, just a shame for us few families in the interim which this last minute realisation they havent been doing it properly so is going to cause dramas for, but people after us should have things in place before even come home to make sure it is all done in a good time frame and hopefully the 12 months) the way it needs to work is, Thailand needs to recieve and review 3 of the 4 postplacement reports, the board then needs to sign off on approval of the adoption, we then would be invited the the Embassy, we then need to return to our dept office with some paperwork, the Embassy will return other docs back to Thailand, then Thailand needs to fill out an article 23 (part of Hague requirements) this gets sent back to our dept, who then can at that point arrange for us to go to court to face a magistrate and finalsie under our australian state law. So thats a lot of tooing and frooing between departments, and we are running out of time to get this done before our 12 months are far behind us.

So for the past couple of weeks I have been communicating with our dept to see how they are going to facilitate this, improve communication with thailand, explaining our personal situation re move, and basically get things moving on this complicated paper trail, once I got my head around it the most important thing to get into the discussion was no way is it in the best interests of our son to remain in legal limbo and do this state move without his adoption being finalised, and drag things out for indefinite amount of time, and also stressed that I am sure after our time in thailand that our social worker over there once armed with this information and the changes occuring in our state will be of great assistance. After chatting to one of my wise thai adoption mummy friends, and also reading the dsdw website, we saw a little ray of sunshine that we can actively assist to fix this mess we find ourselves in. We have learnt that one can actually do the Thai finalisation side of things, back over in Thailand, this would cut out a lot of document tooing and frooing, hopefully allowing us to get that side of things squared up in our rapidly shrinking time frame. Currently our Australian dept worker is away for a couple of weeks, but thankfully the last call I had with her was definitly more positive than the previous discussions, and we are now just hoping that upon her return she will be able to work out a date with Thailand when we may fly back over and get things sorted out.

So keeping fingers crossed at the moment and just waiting patiently. One could laugh really at the irony of it all, as only a couple of weeks before this all came out I was discussing with our social worker on our postplacement visit how the biggest challenge to me is that he isnt legally our son yet, as everything in my heart and soul and everything he is my son, yet legally he isnt, its strange trying to get ones head around it, and just be much more content once done but of course I give myself reassurances it wont be long, as did my social worker, just a normal part of our bonding process, and then bam this chaoas happens.

Anyhow in the meantime of this legal headache, we continue to adore our amaazing son, enjoy every moment, and wow cant imagine life without him, or indeed how I filled my days before him, he is my heart, and oh so much fun.

We had a wonderful first aussie fathers day celebration, we went to a fancy seafood place for lunch then took a long drive up the coast to Australia zoo (famous for the late Steve Irwin) and had a blast, our sons first up close with native animals.

cutie

well we were sent an email from our dept worker last week, saying that we can actually show our childrens faces under new legislation, without getting their permission first, so here he is! Some random photos. Life is good, hard to believe we are six months home already, time has flown by. He is growing and changing so quickly, and I am getting the hang of being mummy, and all things mummy related :) No major dramas to report, we are both learning new things all the time, and since the intial shock adjustment of coming to his new home, and new life, he is now showing his true personality, strong willed, funny, enthusiastic, cuddley, loving, active, animal lover, people person, happy, silly, outgoing, confident, but even though saying all that he still hates crowds, and gets ratty when overtired, and when he has a tantrum - ohhhhhh you can hear him across the oceans! I had an epic mummy fail the other day, I decided to take him to the yearly local area show, there are animals and stalls and rides, and all good things, but it was packed, far too busy for him, I think he had flash backs to the Bangkok streets, and he was not happy, pulled the hood down on his pram so no one could see him, and rejected a punnett of strawberries! now that goes to show how bad he was handling things, he never turns down strawberries! Only good thing of the day was he got to touch some cows on the nose, he loves "moooo,moooo-cows" as he calls them, and his other favorite, Chickens.

One of the photos above he is wearing Northern traditional Thai costume, we had a Intercountry Adoption day celebration in our local community at the end of last month, was wonderful to start these traditions so soon after coming home, I am sure as a teen he will probably find it a little embarrasing and like many of the teens that day reject wearing his Thai costume, but for now we can enjoy embracing dress-up traditions.

he isn't a beans on toast kind of a boy

It has been a bit of hard work this week to get our little one to eat some proper food, typically he plays with his food, but this week he has enjoyed rubbing it in his hair, throwing it on the floor, and generally not putting enough into his mouth for my liking. His loves of crackers, cheese, ham, grapes and strawberries are still consumed with enthusiasm at snack times, he wont eat toast or sandwiches or things like that, he does adore sushi if we are out though as a simple meal/snack. Breakfast foods have always been a tricky one, he is never interested in cereal, he might like eggs one day, then refuse them for the next 3 weeks, so I had to put my experimental head on and cook things that I know he can wolf down. I think he may well have been from China in a former life, he loves all things Chinese especially YumCha, so I set about making him some homemade dumplings, merged a few recipes together, and it has been a huge success!!! Second mummy achievement this week, was perfecting Thai Rice Soup – a bit like a Thai version on Congee. Our little one LOVES it, and is a good staple for Breakfast and J has already taken some bowls into work with him for his own Breakfast. I think it is pretty similar to the soup our little one had in the orphanage too, though mine has more ‘bits’ in it.

‘Little One’s steamed Wontons’, well I didn’t use measurements, except I think it was around 200g of mince, everything was raw when mixing it up for the stuffing, and I added handfulls of the other chopped components, and its fab! So they were filled with minced chicken, water chestnuts, bamboo shoots, chopped prawns, splash of sesame oil, splash of mirin flavoring, splash of light soy sauce, 1 egg, teaspoon of ginger, teaspoon of garlic, dash of chopped chives, dash of chopped coriander – I also added a little bit of corn flour just for extra binding, but could have probably left it out. Put a heaped teaspoon onto a fresh wonton wrapper, wrapped them up so filling wouldn’t escape, and then steamed for around 7 minutes in a bamboo steamer (until prawn and mince cooked through) Result YUMMMMMMMMY only minor setback is if he knows I am putting them into the steamer he gets REALLY whiney and whingey and doesn’t understand why he can’t have them instantly! They are that good.

‘Mummy’s version of Thai Rice Soup – Congee-esque concoction’: put 2 cups of jasmine rice with two cups of water into the rice cooker – leave to cook. In the meantime put 3 cups of chicken stock, and a cup of water into a big pan, let it boil. In a frying pan I cooked aprox 250g of chicken mince stirring to break it up. Once the stock is boiling I added two teaspoons of crushed garlic, 2 tablespoons of light soy sauce, 1 tablespoon of fish sauce, 1 tablespoon of mushed ginger, good sprinkling of chopped chives, teaspoon of chili flakes, teaspoon of coriander. Then I added the cooked mince to the stock, and kept stirring until it broke apart. Then added the rice to the stock, stired it all in, then as final step I added one beaten egg to the soup whilst stiring. Perfect for my son, Daddy adds extra chili flakes to his.

photo of his soup at breakfast - oh and sporting one of his "i can't live without them!" bibs, Silly Billyz

Korean online shop - awesome

love this shop my rocking wardrobe it is online and they send things overseas from Korea. We have some fab outfits. Funny as always thought it was little girls that have the most choices, but having a son discovered there are some fun and fabulous boys clothes on the market.

Here is a shot of our little man in one of their fun hoodies - as you know I cant post indentifying photos under our adopt rules in Aus, but he is very well hidden!

We are busy as usual, J is away this week but gets back tonight, so tommorow I am giving myself a 'day - off' they have Daddy playgroup to go to in the morning, so I am going to the cinema with my waiting mumma friend K, then going to treat ourselves to wandering around and eating yummy things in one of the Brisbane suburbs that has mainly asian influences - cant wait.

In other news, my chat and plays for the adopt group are a great success.

We have our 2nd post placement visit next week!!! very excited, one more step closer to the paperwork side of him becoming our son legally.

world keeps turning

Gosh I haven’t done a proper blog post in ages.

Life is understandably very busy, we had our weekend holiday away with the local Thai Adopt community, it was marvelous to see everyone, but will be better when our little man is older, as most of the other kids are older and have forged very strong friendships over the years. We did however share an apartment with a couple from another state and their son (6 months older than ours, but been home 12 months) who had been in our sons first orphanage, so that was nice to bring the two boys together, it is going to be wonderful to have this connection as our boys grow older, and especially in their teens, always good to have the support of someone who “gets” it. This mum we had connected with via the web many moons ago, so amazing to meet in “real life”. I think cyber space, when treated with caution has been an amazing resource to connect with like minded people, especially in adopt community.

Our little one and I have a full diary, and we are especially enjoying park dates, chats and plays, and I have worked hard to connect with lots of different people (not just army or adopt mums), though in saying that our adopt community is still a large part of our lives. I am still running the adopt chat and play group, and we meet once a week. It has been really successful, there are some children who are also recently home (different countries) so us mums have a fair bit in common, to share stories, and especially makes a difference being able to chat to people at different stages of the “adjustment”.

As far as language, well he has about 6 words, though has resorted to using “mummy” as a do command, a want command, and uses it in anything, he will point at someone or something and say mummy mummy mummy, and it general means, pass me that, do that, move that. He can mimic words, but generally just baby babbles. He has certainly got the grasp of Skype though! He has baby babbled at my nieces in the UK across the video means of skype, which involved mainly kissing the computer and going mwaah mwaah, kept my nieces and him amused for far longer than I could have imagined! He is making amazing strides with regards to playing, he now goes brum brum and moves his cars along the edge of the couch, this was something that was completely alien to him a few weeks ago.

The most interesting thing is his strong sense of family, for example if J and I have a hug then he will tap us on the legs to pick him up, then he puts his face between us both and shakes his cheeks from side to side so that we will both kiss him together, and he says “mwah mwah”, he is very affectionate. He also always likes to be touching, he has only recently grasped the idea of television but won’t sit on the couch, he has to either stand between our legs, or on our knees.

We haven’t had any family visit yet, we decided to take these things slowly to avoid confusing him, especially as J’s mum lives interstate, however we decided now was a good time and we have been discussing her visiting in the next few weeks. Our plans have rather changed and she will be here next week, and not in the happiest way, a horrific and unbelievable tragedy has struck our extended family. It was odd as earlier in the week, I was watching the news with horror, the news of a mother murdered and a young girl being abducted, which was just unimaginable, but there is always a certain detachment or an unreality when hearing such tragedy as its someone else like a million worlds away from ones own life and too horrible to really absorb, but then the phone rang and it was my MIL and I learnt it was my FILs family (Js step dad) and it became part of my world, and just so hard to fathom, and I held our little one closer, and just couldn’t begin to understand what was happening, how could such a thing happen, hoping for the best fearing the worst, always hope, but then hope was taken away and this precious child was also found murdered at the hands of her own father, and one can not begin to even contemplate the evil that happened that day. I don’t know them personally, but FIL is very close to his family, and the pain, the what ifs, the horror that they are all going through my heart aches for them. A terrible reminder, bad things do happen to good people, life is so precious, and fragile, and we just need to love with our whole being, and relish every moment we have with each other, life is so full of joy, but also there can be such sadness and tragedy, and evil in its worst form does exist. J will be attending the funeral in the coming week, so very mixed feelings, happy that our little one will get to spend time with his nana for the first time but just never imagined the visit would be sooner and due to such a reason.

This week of tragedy leads me to my next line of thought, I have a facebook profile I use it to stay connected with old friends, adopt friends and the army network, and it’s a very peculiar medium as although great in many respects, and provides support, fun and friendship for a lot of people, for others it allows people to use it as a daily whinge journal, to wallow in the petty problems of ones lives, to develop silly online arguments, to loose perspective on reality, to moan about the most tedious of issues/disputes, and which then spurs on sympathetic “ohh poor you” “oh how terrible” “she said this she said that” from similarly like minded petty wallowers and really just about nothing, some army wives can be like mean girls, bitching about nothing, and I don’t see it in my other online friends, so makes me worry for these people, as when they have real problems and if/when real tragedy strikes how on earth are they going to cope. I have to block a lot of news feeds from my page on facebook, as cant bare to read it sometimes, it grates on me, annoys me beyond belief, knowing first hand the number of children living in institutions across the world, knowing there are millions living in poverty, in refugee camps, living with tragedy and grief, war zones, all those very real things they have something to moan about! So I find it harder and harder to give support to petty squabbles and the she said she said bickering about NOTHING.

On a happier FB note I have a love affair with FB messages how we can chatter as a big group as it has connected loads of us in adopt community, invaluable support before travel, during and after, and thrilled that 2 bubs have come home in recent weeks and we have been able to share in that joy, plus another online friend is there right now, right this very very minute meeting her little one for the first time today! Every moment between the call and travel is stressful, the desperate desire to reach your child as soon as humanly possible, but having to hold oneself together as the cogs of process turn, the proper procedure, the checks, the signing, the paper trail, the extra medicals, all those things take time, and without others to stand up and say I know, I get it, I have been there, I support you, you are doing great, its alright, I think it would be far harder journey to take.

A FRIEND IN LONDON - New Tomorrow

I have a complete girlie Eurovision song contest crush on these boys!!!! Band called 'A friend in London' from Denmark